Prelude and Fugue ~

Prelude & Fugue ~
Fear pushes me to keep going
Even though I am tired –
Even though my hands are freezing, stiff
My fear could be a ruse, at war
Over the unpredictable, yet
Possible outcome from
This disease.
Fear is one day I shall sit down
At my piano –   
Look at the ivory keys
Sheet music in front of me
And not know what to do.
I fear I’ll look at my piano, knowing
Keys are meant to be pressed, played,
To produce a sound – but,
I fear that won’t happen if
My brain misfires, loses signals
To capable hands, fingers. Or,
I fear my lucid brain will be sharp –
Comprehends the music, ready to
Instruct fingers what to do, yet
Hands are foreign – stiff, frozen, spastic
Useless.
I do not fear the possibility of relying on a cane,
Wheelchair or scooter – or even relinquishing
Car keys- if I can have my piano keys
Just let me sit at my piano and feel it all –
And I’ll play without fear.
MPettigrew 2013

The Tale of Jack Schitt

We all need a giggle once in awhile to lighten the mood, so here’s a little something for ya.  I don’t remember who gave me this gem – probably an old co-worker.  I was cleaning out my desk and found this faded piece of fax paper stuffed inside an old file and had a good laugh (which I needed today).  No name of the author was written or even acknowledged on it.  Only the date of the fax receipt showed as August 5th, 1995.  I’m glad I held onto it this long, because it’s fun, silly, and I can share it with you!  

When someone says:
“You don’t know Jack Schitt”
Now you’ll know the rest of the story!
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt.  Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn.  Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced six children.
Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth.  Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt.  Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.  Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son, Chicken Schitt.  Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers.  The Schitt Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt.
Bull Schitt married a spicy number, Pisa Schitt and they are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.

NOW you know Jack Schitt!

A Lightworker’s Creed

A friend whom I’ve never met in person, nor chatted with voice to voice posted this image on Twitter about a month ago.  I fell instantly in love with its message…every word.  I’ve been going through some rocky roads lately and this spoke to me in such a way which felt as if I was receiving a much needed GIFT.  I saved it, printed it, and hung it on my refrigerator door.  I don’t think I’ve told her yet how appreciative I am for this “random posting” of hers and the impact it has made on me.  

Therefore, as I haven’t posted anything in a few weeks and insomnia wickedly took hold of me this evening, I decided this to be a perfect, appropriate post.  It sets the tone, presents a clear message of who I want to be…for myself and for others.  I’ve met many “Lightworkers” over the years who don’t even realize they have “gifted” me with invaluable love and lessons.  I too, strive to be a Lightworker…and to pay-it-forward as best I can.

"Unity" ~

As we’re gearing up for the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Russia, I thought I’d share a poem I submitted in 2012 to “Forward Poetry” based in the UK.  The theme was to write a poem inspired by the 2012 Summer Olympic Games held in London.  They liked my piece & included it in a compilation of poetry titled “The Summer of Sport“.  I was thrilled!
Here is “Unity”…

UNITY
Sacred, pure colors, the ideal texture of
Union Jack illuminated prideful appreciation.
Tangible peace felt throughout world-wide networks
Celebrated, agreed to by all mankind…
            For awhile
Colossal strength, poise, dedicated work
Prove their privilege, their deserved honor.
Nations entwined  as one, gracious and grateful
These guests of London, determined to represent…
            The world
Athletic battle amongst countries joyously received
Applauded and embraced, camaraderies, not enemies.
No weapons used in this battle, no one is at war
We are all humans capable of sportsmanship, capable…
            Of Peace
MPP2012

“Black Holes”

My MS affects my brain – cognition issues have been challenging for me ever since my diagnosis nearly 13 years ago.  About 6 years ago, my neurologist informed me that my latest MRI scan showed one large lesion had now become a “black hole”…and, it is just like it sounds.  A black hole is permanent – a dark, lifeless area of the brain beyond repair.  Fear is early onset dementia.  Hopes are to keep other possible lesions away from this spot and to limit or exclude lesion activity altogether.  I keep my brain as busy as I have the energy to muster.  I write, play and listen to music.  I do newspaper crossword puzzles and read articles/blogs/books – I try most anything to expose my brain to new information…when energy allows.  “Black Hole” will be understood by many others with MS.   

 

 
 
Black Hole
Dead matter – neurons misfire
White turns black
Empty, void of repair
Overworked cellular
Overtime labor begun
Lesions come, they go
This one lingered, trespassed
De-faced, fade to black
Despite protests
Daunting, treacherous terrain
Threatening nearby white matter
Memory battles – cognitive ghosts
Deceptive, live versus dead
Defend and protect
As Commander in chief
I give the orders
Build a great wall against –
All around this dark enemy
Contain the prisoner
A life-sentence
Within the hole.

 

MPP2014

Perception ~ Ode to a Panic Attack


I began writing “Perception” a few years ago, revised it once, yet never truly finished it.  Well, for a variety of reasons,  I needed this poem to be done & gone!  So, I did a little more editing and have HOPEFULLY “purged” it here as cathartic relief.   The effects when going through anxiety & panic attacks are exhausting & can have a disastrous impact on the mind and body.  For some people, these episodes are often debilitating and difficult to control.  Anyone who has dealt with anxiety/panic knows exactly what I’m talking about.

PERCEPTION ~ Ode to a Panic Attack 
Wildly nervous, unhinged with
Anxiety inescapable & surely obvious
Others who stare in curious observation  Of this crazy woman’s mania, but no…
At this moment,  I think they all see,
but they don’t, can’t see what I feel…
Self-conscious perception of
Reality exaggerated…
My mouth dry, as if gauze filled
Affected by self induced effects –
Words muffled, struggling, yet stuck
Fidget, picking my cuticles in a
Strangely hypnotic, self-soothing
Trance…I survey surroundings
In search for retreat, an
            Escape, release…
Heart races – constricted in my chest
Breath shallow…such hard work to
Focus, to remember how to swallow –
Complete chaos, a freak show
Ridiculously on display, my internal
Combustion, a solitary meltdown
            Invisible, exhausting…
MPP 2012

For Charlie ~ On His 14th Birthday

My wonderful nephew is growing up so fast – makes me sad and happy at the same time.  I wrote this and gave it to him last month on his birthday.  Writing this and watching his face as he read it meant a lot to me…and I think it meant a lot to him too. 


Artist: Peter Max


For Charlie ~ On His 14th Birthday
I see you
And, I’m proud.
Though, not always frequent
Or up close and personal
I see you
And I’m proud.
From early tow-headed toddler days
When all you needed was your ragged
“Peelow”.  Torn up from constant cuddles,
And daily affections –
To Cowboys and Madden obsessions.
Excelling in sports yourself, such strength,
Prowess in athletic and academia talent.
I see you now…
And, I’m proud.
Although, sad to see you grow,
Faster – too fast – year after year
You’re now a young man cub –
A young man with a future so dazzling
I’m thrilled for you, the thought makes me smile…
Because I see you
And, I’m proud.
  
With compassion, you look out for others
Protecting those around you –
With humor, you remain grounded,
Overcome challenges, lightening up drama –
With determined focus, you possess a maturity
Stronger than myself, at age 14.
I know this because
I see you
And, I’m proud.
My wish for you on this day,
This year – your 14th birthday, is this:
Celebrate the YOU yesterday and today –
Celebrate the YOU yet to come.
Be proud of yourself, embrace the gift that isYOU –
So deserved, earned over the years –
See yourself then, now, and tomorrow

And, be proud!