Prelude & Fugue ~
Fear pushes me to keep going
Even though I am tired –
Even though my hands are freezing, stiff
My fear could be a ruse, at war
Over the unpredictable, yet
Possible outcome from
This disease.
Fear is one day I shall sit down
At my piano –
Look at the ivory keys
Sheet music in front of me
And not know what to do.
I fear I’ll look at my piano, knowing
Keys are meant to be pressed, played,
To produce a sound – but,
I fear that won’t happen if
My brain misfires, loses signals
To capable hands, fingers. Or,
I fear my lucid brain will be sharp –
Comprehends the music, ready to
Instruct fingers what to do, yet
Hands are foreign – stiff, frozen, spastic
Useless.
I do not fear the possibility of relying on a cane,
Wheelchair or scooter – or even relinquishing
Car keys- if I can have my piano keys
Just let me sit at my piano and feel it all –
And I’ll play without fear.
MPettigrew 2013
