Month: January 2014

Fear pushes me to keep going

Even though I am tired –

Even though my hands are freezing, stiff

My fear could be a ruse, at war

Over the unpredictable, yet

Possible outcome from

This disease.

Fear is one day I shall sit down

At my piano –   

Look at the ivory keys

Sheet music in front of me

And not know what to do.

I fear I’ll look at my piano, knowing

Keys are meant to be pressed, played,

To produce a sound – but,

I fear that won’t happen if

My brain misfires, loses signals

To capable hands, fingers. Or,

I fear my lucid brain will be sharp –

Comprehends the music, ready to

Instruct fingers what to do, yet

Hands are foreign – stiff, frozen, spastic

Useless.

I do not fear the possibility of relying on a cane,

Wheelchair or scooter – or even relinquishing

Car keys- if I can have my piano keys

Just let me sit at my piano and feel it all –

And I’ll play without fear.