The Tale of Jack Schitt

We all need a giggle once in awhile to lighten the mood, so here’s a little something for ya.  I don’t remember who gave me this gem – probably an old co-worker.  I was cleaning out my desk and found this faded piece of fax paper stuffed inside an old file and had a good laugh (which I needed today).  No name of the author was written or even acknowledged on it.  Only the date of the fax receipt showed as August 5th, 1995.  I’m glad I held onto it this long, because it’s fun, silly, and I can share it with you!  

When someone says:
“You don’t know Jack Schitt”
Now you’ll know the rest of the story!
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt.  Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn.  Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced six children.
Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth.  Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt.  Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.  Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son, Chicken Schitt.  Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers.  The Schitt Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt.
Bull Schitt married a spicy number, Pisa Schitt and they are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.

NOW you know Jack Schitt!