The Tale of Jack Schitt

We all need a giggle once in awhile to lighten the mood, so here’s a little something for ya.  I don’t remember who gave me this gem – probably an old co-worker.  I was cleaning out my desk and found this faded piece of fax paper stuffed inside an old file and had a good laugh (which I needed today).  No name of the author was written or even acknowledged on it.  Only the date of the fax receipt showed as August 5th, 1995.  I’m glad I held onto it this long, because it’s fun, silly, and I can share it with you!  

When someone says:
“You don’t know Jack Schitt”
Now you’ll know the rest of the story!
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt.  Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn.  Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced six children.
Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth.  Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt.  Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.  Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son, Chicken Schitt.  Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers.  The Schitt Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt.
Bull Schitt married a spicy number, Pisa Schitt and they are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.

NOW you know Jack Schitt!

Author: Mary

ABOUT MARY ~ Mary is a "late-blooming" writer from Texas who enjoys exploring a variety of different styles & genres, however her deep passion for creative writing (poetry, essay, narrative interview & non-fiction) remains unwavering & most purposeful. Mary's personal & professional background is filled with an eclectic combination of business & art (e.g., music, performing arts, 15 years sales/marketing & special events planning in the private club industry). Mary is a 1990 graduate from The University of North Texas with a B.S. in Hotel/Restaurant Management. In 2001, life as she knew it would be dramatically & forever altered by the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) at age 35. Several years passed, searching for answers to unknown questions. This loss of reality, normalcy, & PURPOSE needed to be reinvented - renewed - rewritten. This disease is not a "one size firs all." MS affects everyone differently & can morph unpredictably, silently, relentlessly... day to day. It's not easy to figure out how to deal with disease & this vile invasion of an uninvited, unwanted "internal room-mate." Eventually, Mary also sought the help of a professional therapist which helped her learn important coping skills needed to tame/calm mood disorders & to encourage healthy ways in which to purge the noisy chaos inside the brain. And so the writing began... as did a newfound passion & purpose. This journey of reinvention became plausible via Mary's background & her desire to discover new creative outlets. As a student for life, Mary continues to explore & study the health benefits from turning off our "auto pilot switch" & instead focus on learning - consume new information & participate in new activities (Neuroplasticity). The gift of "resilience" is a glorious, powerful tool which stems from the endurance of life & it's many challenges. Resilience forces us to rise up & learn face issues (new & old) head on. Focus on the important things in life. Laugh & live selflessly with compassion, purose & passion. Connect with Mary at: 🔸Twitter: @pettigrew66, @MSpals 🔸Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MaryPettigrew48 🔸LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/maryppettigrew 🔸Instagram: 🔸http://www.mspals.org Acknowledgments and Press ~ * Creator & Co-founder of MSpals: A Global Organization (2014 - present) * Administrator & contributing author of content, posts, & interviews on the MSpals website: http://www.mspals.org ~ The Summer of Sport: Forward Poetry 2012 ~ Poetry Rivals Collection 2013 ~ Something On Our Minds Vol.III ~ Something On Our Minds Vol IV. Interviews: National Multiple Sclerosis Society's "Momentum Magazine" ~ 2013 = Art Therapy & MS ~ 2015 = Connecting Via Social Media Other works also featured on a variety of blogs, websites, videos, as well as other multimedia platforms including: www.pajamadaze.com www.disabled-world.com www.HealthCentral.com www.MyCounterpane.com www.MS&MeRadio/TBI Network iConquerMS/The Accelerated Cure Project WEGO Health

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