Steps Ahead

Photo by Dave Russell

Ruminate less –
Distract the psyche from
Impossible pasts –
Oligomania offers
Intimate understanding of
Truth and consequences –
Accept and let go.
Navigate bravely –
Uncharted territory of
Serpentine roads cause
Pause, yet no turning back as
My destination beckons to
Follow the horizon.


Forgotten Photos

Boxes filled with
Forgotten photos – musty disarray
Unknown dates and places –
Boxes filled with
Memories of loved ones gone
Yellowed, faded faces –
Boxes filled with
Decades captured on Polaroid,
Kodachrome and Fuji-film –
Boxes filled with
Ghosts, images of what was then
And even still, today…
Haunting shadows of this life.

old photos2

Knowledge is Power – an essay

Knowledge is Power

By Mary Pettigrew

February 21, 2015

For many of us it starts when we are small.  For many of us it continues through adolescent and teen years.  For many of us we grow up unscathed from childhood issues, taunting, or typical “rites of passage” intended to mold us into adulthood.  For many of us, this is not the case.

Maybe you were the “new kid” at a new school or showed up with a bad haircut, acne, or experienced your first period, unbeknownst to you as you walked down the hall in white jeans…gasp!  Many of us have been bullied or gossiped about for being different, weird, or had their reputation ruined and labeled a “slut” after confiding a secret to the one person who you thought was your best friend.

Many of us grow up, move on, and are able to cope with these awful childhood experiences, able to look back without embarrassment.  Again, this is not always the case for many people.  Whether it be in our DNA or various childhood issues or trauma, many of us carry that drama with us through life – becoming numb to it all, judged, or embarrassed to speak out and seek help.

We must pay attention to the mental stability of young minds in the world.  We must educate people as to how to recognize and respect mental health without embarrassment before it gets out of hand.  We must focus on teaching children about stigma, judgment and to treat people with compassion at an early age.  Stigma and judgment often occur when people see what they physically “see” and create an opinion over things they can’t understand.  KNOWLEDGE IS POWER – I find myself saying this often, but it’s true.  We’re making progress, but still have a long way to go!

Tomorrow night is the 87th Academy Awards and I find it refreshing to see some of the top films and roles of the year deal with mental illness and chronic illness/disease.  Just to name a few:

~ American Sniper: PTSD

~ Still Alice: Alzheimer’s

~Two Days, One Night ~ Depression

~ The Theory of Everything: ALS

~ Selma: Segregation/racism

~ Cake: Chronic pain/depression (even though this film wasn’t nominated)

For me, I can speak most clearly on chronic illness with “invisible symptoms” – and my history of eating disorders and depression/anxiety.  In 2001, at the age of 35, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.  My life changed drastically at that time.  MS affects everyone differently.  I’ll say it again…MS AFFECTS EVERYONE DIFFERENTLY!  My MS gives me many troubles, but it really affects my brain with cognition/memory issues.  I’m used to people coming up to me with a story about their aunt or a friend who still works and is doing just fine – or, they tell me to try a certain diet because it “cured” a friend – or, they ask why I’m in bed all day – that I look fine and were able to do things yesterday!  UGH!!! Their faces judge as if to say, you’re lazy, you’re faking, it’s all in your head, etc…  Heat is a big issue with MS.  Weakness and loss of other control can happen, yet I refuse to put a handicap placard in my car when going to the grocery store in the summer because I’ve SEEN the judging faces of ignorance staring at those who walk “normally” into the store.  Hence…STIGMA – the shame inflicted and lack of awareness from others can often result in lives destroyed.  There is no reason to put up with this anymore.

Social Media is a powerful tool which can produce positive results if…IF used correctly.  The concept that strangers can meet across the globe who relate to each other, share the same passion, build a platform and create a community is fantastic!  This is a big step in moving forward – educating others, vocalizing, sharing our stories to eradicate the various stigmas in society.  I’ve experienced this magic myself and the healing powers and support it inspires is well… I’ve got no words…just grateful.

It’s time to heal, to make it alright to be different or ask for help.  It’s time…no more shame, no more drama, no more pain.