The Sleeping Game ~ 

Insomnia, this maniacal routine
‘Tis unwanted playtime
For such brain games destructive
Frenetic bed-time activity –
Been here, done this
Sigh…

Acutely chronic, crazed at times
Noise filled, this rowdy, yet solitary
Confinement is cerebral in nature
The players are me – and me
Welcome to the sleeping game.

Nightly, I’m forcefully recruited by
“Scouts” who lure my unwilling,
Unwanted, irrational participation
Into game play – though
I plead forfeit, such requests are
Deemed overruled and often denied.

No matter season, nor inclement weather
No empathy for injury, nor illness
No giving up, nor allowance to quit
This match, the wrestle between brain
And body, alas there is no winner.

The game ensues, becoming quizzical
Scornful, guilt-filled lists flying about:
“To do” lists
“NOT to-do” lists
“WHY did I do that” lists…

Lists ongoing and ever changing
Permeate my conscience in search
Of resolution, answers, or acceptance
Full knowing, it’s all for naught
For the click ticks on.

4:00am has come and gone despite
Momentary lapses of rationale and
Lucid attempts to mediate my
Exhaustive, desperate pleas for truce
Give me A TIME OUT (for now) and
Ground me from this grandiose vs.fantastical reality.

Acceptance of momentary moiety will
Suffice until tomorrow – or until
The game resumes again
As it always does.

 IMG_0077

MPP2012/ poem revision 2017   

Author: Mary

ABOUT MARY ~ Mary is a "late-blooming" writer from Texas who enjoys exploring a variety of different styles & genres, however her deep passion for creative writing (poetry, essay, narrative interview & non-fiction) remains unwavering & most purposeful. Mary's personal & professional background is filled with an eclectic combination of business & art (e.g., music, performing arts, 15 years sales/marketing & special events planning in the private club industry). Mary is a 1990 graduate from The University of North Texas with a B.S. in Hotel/Restaurant Management. In 2001, life as she knew it would be dramatically & forever altered by the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) at age 35. Several years passed, searching for answers to unknown questions. This loss of reality, normalcy, & PURPOSE needed to be reinvented - renewed - rewritten. This disease is not a "one size firs all." MS affects everyone differently & can morph unpredictably, silently, relentlessly... day to day. It's not easy to figure out how to deal with disease & this vile invasion of an uninvited, unwanted "internal room-mate." Eventually, Mary also sought the help of a professional therapist which helped her learn important coping skills needed to tame/calm mood disorders & to encourage healthy ways in which to purge the noisy chaos inside the brain. And so the writing began... as did a newfound passion & purpose. This journey of reinvention became plausible via Mary's background & her desire to discover new creative outlets. As a student for life, Mary continues to explore & study the health benefits from turning off our "auto pilot switch" & instead focus on learning - consume new information & participate in new activities (Neuroplasticity). The gift of "resilience" is a glorious, powerful tool which stems from the endurance of life & it's many challenges. Resilience forces us to rise up & learn face issues (new & old) head on. Focus on the important things in life. Laugh & live selflessly with compassion, purose & passion. Connect with Mary at: 🔸Twitter: @pettigrew66, @MSpals 🔸Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MaryPettigrew48 🔸LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/maryppettigrew 🔸Instagram: 🔸http://www.mspals.org Acknowledgments and Press ~ * Creator & Co-founder of MSpals: A Global Organization (2014 - present) * Administrator & contributing author of content, posts, & interviews on the MSpals website: http://www.mspals.org ~ The Summer of Sport: Forward Poetry 2012 ~ Poetry Rivals Collection 2013 ~ Something On Our Minds Vol.III ~ Something On Our Minds Vol IV. Interviews: National Multiple Sclerosis Society's "Momentum Magazine" ~ 2013 = Art Therapy & MS ~ 2015 = Connecting Via Social Media Other works also featured on a variety of blogs, websites, videos, as well as other multimedia platforms including: www.pajamadaze.com www.disabled-world.com www.HealthCentral.com www.MyCounterpane.com www.MS&MeRadio/TBI Network iConquerMS/The Accelerated Cure Project WEGO Health

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