Guest Post: “Reeling in the Expectations” by Sarah Le Huray

Sarah Le Huray is a mom, wife, occasional researcher, blogger, and an MS Society Ambassador.  Her lovely blog and other postings can be found at http://www.sarahlehuray.com.

Reeling in the expectations 
I have a very guilt-filled relationship with my MS.
Mostly to do with my kids.
Life was always go-go-go for me.  Career, kids, balancing the two.  Add in the incredible MS fatigue, and it’s so hard to stay above water.
We’ve talked about fatigue before, but I’ll mention it again now.  It is one of the most common symptoms associated with all forms and stages of MS.  And can be severely debilitating.
It’s hard to accept that.
Being so stubborn, I attempt to continue on with life – determined to make everything just like before.
As if my life is now defined into two stages – before MS and after.
I struggle to keep up with my former self.  Activities, trips with the kids, producing the energy parenthood requires.
And after the start of a very busy spring break with my energy-filled kids, it catches up.  And I feel horrible.  Sick and tingly.  Foggy.
I know the process well.  It’s been happening for at least a year now.  But I just don’t catch on.  Perhaps I’m clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, today it’ll be different?
I probably haven’t fully mourned the old me yet.  The woman who was healthy and had only positive life plans.
And letting go of that order and control.
I can’t change what I have been dealt.  And I do my best to be accepting and gentle with myself.
But man, adaptation is hard.  Even years in process.
Today’s going to be a restful, quiet day.  And I am grateful.

Sarah

Author: Mary

ABOUT MARY ~ Mary is a "late-blooming" writer from Texas who enjoys exploring a variety of different styles & genres, however her deep passion for creative writing (poetry, essay, narrative interview & non-fiction) remains unwavering & most purposeful. Mary's personal & professional background is filled with an eclectic combination of business & art (e.g., music, performing arts, 15 years sales/marketing & special events planning in the private club industry). Mary is a 1990 graduate from The University of North Texas with a B.S. in Hotel/Restaurant Management. In 2001, life as she knew it would be dramatically & forever altered by the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) at age 35. Several years passed, searching for answers to unknown questions. This loss of reality, normalcy, & PURPOSE needed to be reinvented - renewed - rewritten. This disease is not a "one size firs all." MS affects everyone differently & can morph unpredictably, silently, relentlessly... day to day. It's not easy to figure out how to deal with disease & this vile invasion of an uninvited, unwanted "internal room-mate." Eventually, Mary also sought the help of a professional therapist which helped her learn important coping skills needed to tame/calm mood disorders & to encourage healthy ways in which to purge the noisy chaos inside the brain. And so the writing began... as did a newfound passion & purpose. This journey of reinvention became plausible via Mary's background & her desire to discover new creative outlets. As a student for life, Mary continues to explore & study the health benefits from turning off our "auto pilot switch" & instead focus on learning - consume new information & participate in new activities (Neuroplasticity). The gift of "resilience" is a glorious, powerful tool which stems from the endurance of life & it's many challenges. Resilience forces us to rise up & learn face issues (new & old) head on. Focus on the important things in life. Laugh & live selflessly with compassion, purose & passion. Connect with Mary at: 🔸Twitter: @pettigrew66, @MSpals 🔸Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MaryPettigrew48 🔸LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/maryppettigrew 🔸Instagram: 🔸http://www.mspals.org Acknowledgments and Press ~ * Creator & Co-founder of MSpals: A Global Organization (2014 - present) * Administrator & contributing author of content, posts, & interviews on the MSpals website: http://www.mspals.org ~ The Summer of Sport: Forward Poetry 2012 ~ Poetry Rivals Collection 2013 ~ Something On Our Minds Vol.III ~ Something On Our Minds Vol IV. Interviews: National Multiple Sclerosis Society's "Momentum Magazine" ~ 2013 = Art Therapy & MS ~ 2015 = Connecting Via Social Media Other works also featured on a variety of blogs, websites, videos, as well as other multimedia platforms including: www.pajamadaze.com www.disabled-world.com www.HealthCentral.com www.MyCounterpane.com www.MS&MeRadio/TBI Network iConquerMS/The Accelerated Cure Project WEGO Health

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