Negative Positivity ~ an essay

Striving to achieve – searching for ways to find – to hear, to speak, and to see the positives in life is something we all desire.  Yet, we are hesitant and somewhat fearful of things unfamiliar or negative to us.  At an early age, we become infected with negative, character and ego defining words which can cause staunch, defensive, irrational, and sometimes self-righteous behavior.  Our response – the human reaction. 
NO ~
When we are young, the word “no” means that we are doing something wrong.  The same scolding command given to a puppy when he pees on the rug.
As we age, grow into adulthood, the word “no” has a different meaning and effect.  It shuts us down, tells us not to pursue any further. It sounds and feels finite, but is it really?  No…not always.  When communicated effectively, being told “no” is not always the definitive answer we have to accept. It can actually open the door to new knowledge, viewpoints, and interesting conversation.  Be respectful, yet open minded.
To doubt someone or something keeps the skeptic flourishing in constant indecision.  Doubt can be an eye-opening learning tool inviting research and understanding of the unknown.  Discover a new outlook – look around – open your eyes.   
Therefore, study, listen, and realize that doubt can be a bond as powerful as certainty –
and just as sustaining.
“Never say never”…we’ve all said this to others, and to ourselves. “Never” is such a finite word – as relating to an occurrence forbidden from taking place ever again. 
I am sure there are some people who abide by their proclamations of “never again”.
In regards to a bad marriage, dating, unhealthy vices, careers, etc. Even so, there is no guarantee that “never” shall prevail in any circumstance – it is not as finite as the definition dictates.
To say that something is impossible can actually be both true and false.  For example:
True – it is impossible for you to change my heritage or my race.
True – it is impossible for you to turn back time and be 13 again.  However,
is it impossible that you’ll take a trip into outer space, win an Academy Award, or become President of the USA?  Well, these things are highly improbable,
but NOT impossible.  
Fear is common.  But, it has many different, unique meanings for all of us.  Fear reigns dominant over all of the words I’ve written about in this piece:
No – Doubt – Never – Impossible
Fear takes hold – it holds us back from facing all that is foreign, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable.  But, we need to face some of our fears.  We must teach and encourage children to do this at an early age.  We must get out of our comfort zones, be open to “change” and be motivated to discover new things…things which could be beautifully life changing.  Fear makes us hide – from ourselves and from others.
Worse, we are crippled with the narcissistic worry of what others think of us!
You see, all these words… and the pessimism they typify, merely have the perception of being negative.  When in reality, these words can represent opportunity for change – an opportunity for courageous endeavors – an opportunity to change our outlook of life – and our world. 

Author: Mary

ABOUT MARY ~ I am a "late-blooming" writer from Texas who specializes in creative writing/poetry. I have a background in music, the performing arts, and enjoyed 14 years in sales/marketing & as a special events planner in the private club industry. I am a 1990 graduate from The University of North Texas who started off as a music major (voice), but I wasn't "feeling" it was the right fit. So, I took a break, changed directions & graduated with a B.S. in Hotel/Restaurant Management. I was an athletic, healthy young woman who also displayed an unfortunate pattern in the men I chose in life (life lessons indeed!). After a brief marriage in the early 1990's, I decided to focus on my career, yet 5 years later I met hubby #2. So, with more maturity & high hopes for success, I married again & became a full time stepmother of two. Along with several rewarding events & fond memories came more challenges, yet I maintained a fun, successful career in the food and beverage industry until 2001. I knew it changed when I received the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Looking back, I must have been in denial or a state of confused shock as to how dramatically my life would actually change. I attempted to work a few more years after diagnosis, but I was becoming more unpredictable, forgetful, & lost - my job performance was never quite right anymore. You see, this disease affects everyone different. I went through relapses & other issues, but my mobility was intact - then. Unless you REALLY know me, I was then & continue to be labeled an "invisible symptom" case. My MS enjoys messing with my brain, & many other body functions. Anxiety, mood changes, nerve pain, heat & fatigue are debilitating - quite an uphill battle especially when stress is involved. A few more "in denial" years went by & I dealt with this vile invasion of my "internal room-mate". My husband couldn't understand, nor could he handle my ever increasing health issues - he hated every part of it (I don't really blame him for that). But, he avoided being around me when I was suffering - he {didn't sign on for this & I sure didn't look sick}. He was embarrassed as to how my MS affected his lifestyle. So, divorce and other challenges came into play in 2009. Those were painful, rough days. I know now I was suffering from a nervous breakdown. Not yet had I thought to seek the help of a professional therapist to help me cope or to help purge the noisy voices & chaos inside my head, so I began to purge through writing. WRITING saved me! I attempted to compose little songs & dove into playing piano again - I even taught myself a little acoustic guitar & it felt good...soothing. I had found a form of therapy which enabled me to breathe again; a healing tool that didn't require a prescription. This journey to reinvent myself actually seemed plausible via my artsy background & new creative outlets. I've become a student again & the benefits of turning off our "auto pilot switch" & instead focusing on learning new, foreign things & activities is priceless. This "rewiring" of the brain is called Neuroplasticity. Writing (primarily poetry) & music has filled me with a POWERFUL passion, purpose, & endless possibility. This may sound odd, but I'm grateful for the tough times! There's this gift called "resilience" - my MS & other life struggles have gifted this to me. A gift which forced me to find "me" & to focus on the important things in laugh, live selflessly with compassion & passion. Find me on: 🔸Twitter: @pettigrew66, @MSpals, @MSpalsPoets 🔸Facebook: MaryPettigrew48 🔸LinkedIn: 🔸Instagram: 🔸 Acknowledgments and Press ~ • Two of my early poems were published in the U.K. in book compilations of poetry: ~The Summer of Sport: Forward Poetry 2012 ~ Poetry Rivals Collection 2013 • Featured in 2 articles in The National Multiple Sclerosis Society's 'Momentum Magazine' ~ 2013 = art therapy & MS ~ 2015 = connecting via social media • My work has been featured/published in various book compilations, blogs, websites, as well as other multimedia platforms including: www.MS&MeRadio/TBI Network Something On Our Minds (SOOM): funds The Accelerated Cure Project "Twitter Q&A" - A Writers Experience (details forthcoming) • Creator & Co-founder of MSpals: a global organization (2014)

2 thoughts on “Negative Positivity ~ an essay”

  1. Totally agree that fear holds us back! A young child does not know fear and how much more curious and adventorous is that child! A child will climb trees until we warn them not to do so as an example! We implant our fears in our children. Does that child stop possibly not but it won't climb as high! Limited…..


  2. Lately, I have realized my dependency on fear. I lean into fear to ward off failure, but bad things still happen. Now, my choice is to motivate w/love & happiness. Come what may, I feel good and deserving! This site is very thoughtful. Thank you.


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