Negative Positivity ~ an essay

Striving to achieve – searching for ways to find – to hear, to speak, and to see the positives in life is something we all desire.  Yet, we are hesitant and somewhat fearful of things unfamiliar or negative to us.  At an early age, we become infected with negative, character and ego defining words which can cause staunch, defensive, irrational, and sometimes self-righteous behavior.  Our response – the human reaction. 
NO ~
When we are young, the word “no” means that we are doing something wrong.  The same scolding command given to a puppy when he pees on the rug.
As we age, grow into adulthood, the word “no” has a different meaning and effect.  It shuts us down, tells us not to pursue any further. It sounds and feels finite, but is it really?  No…not always.  When communicated effectively, being told “no” is not always the definitive answer we have to accept. It can actually open the door to new knowledge, viewpoints, and interesting conversation.  Be respectful, yet open minded.
To doubt someone or something keeps the skeptic flourishing in constant indecision.  Doubt can be an eye-opening learning tool inviting research and understanding of the unknown.  Discover a new outlook – look around – open your eyes.   
Therefore, study, listen, and realize that doubt can be a bond as powerful as certainty –
and just as sustaining.
“Never say never”…we’ve all said this to others, and to ourselves. “Never” is such a finite word – as relating to an occurrence forbidden from taking place ever again. 
I am sure there are some people who abide by their proclamations of “never again”.
In regards to a bad marriage, dating, unhealthy vices, careers, etc. Even so, there is no guarantee that “never” shall prevail in any circumstance – it is not as finite as the definition dictates.
To say that something is impossible can actually be both true and false.  For example:
True – it is impossible for you to change my heritage or my race.
True – it is impossible for you to turn back time and be 13 again.  However,
is it impossible that you’ll take a trip into outer space, win an Academy Award, or become President of the USA?  Well, these things are highly improbable,
but NOT impossible.  
Fear is common.  But, it has many different, unique meanings for all of us.  Fear reigns dominant over all of the words I’ve written about in this piece:
No – Doubt – Never – Impossible
Fear takes hold – it holds us back from facing all that is foreign, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable.  But, we need to face some of our fears.  We must teach and encourage children to do this at an early age.  We must get out of our comfort zones, be open to “change” and be motivated to discover new things…things which could be beautifully life changing.  Fear makes us hide – from ourselves and from others.
Worse, we are crippled with the narcissistic worry of what others think of us!
You see, all these words… and the pessimism they typify, merely have the perception of being negative.  When in reality, these words can represent opportunity for change – an opportunity for courageous endeavors – an opportunity to change our outlook of life – and our world. 

Author: Mary

ABOUT MARY ~ Mary is a patient advocate for MS, chronic illness & disabilities. She is a freelance writer from Texas who enjoys exploring a variety of different styles & genres, however her deep passion for creative writing (poetry, essay, narrative interview & non-fiction) remains unwavering & purposeful. Mary's personal & professional background is an eclectic compilation consisting of the fine arts, civil rights advocacy, fundraising with 15 years in sales/marketing & event planning in the private club industry. Mary is a 1990 graduate from The University of North Texas with a B.S. in Hotel/Restaurant Management. In 2001, Mary was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Within a few years, health issues forced her to resign from the career she loved. As her marriage began to crumble, Mary was keenly aware of the emotional & mental crisis firmly taking hold. Eventually, she sought the help of a professional therapist which helped her learn the important coping skills needed to tame/calm mood disorders & to encourage healthy ways in which to purge the noisy chaos inside the brain. This loss of reality, normalcy, & PURPOSE needed to be reinvented, renewed & rewritten...NOW! The divorce & all related proceedings lasted an unfathomable six years, yet it was the therapy, communities & her writing which kept her most grounded. Each poem a cathartic purge, each word a therapeutic tool meant for healing & to inspire resilience. Blindsided by this newfound purpose & passion, Mary continues writing & exploring a plethora of multimedia outlets to this day. Her writing, networking & advocacy projects target the MS, chronic illness & disability communities. Her interactive presence can be seen throughout social media. Although MS is the primary community in which she advocates, Mary enjoys playing an active role in other patient communities (bloggers, writers, music, live chats, special events, & many more. One of the key messages Mary continues to emphasize is how chronic illness can affect everyone differently. MS is a prime example in that we are not a "one size fits all." This disease called MS is a conundrum in every which way. To this day, research continues, yet we still don't know the root cause for MS, yet current findings now show "risk factors" for the disease. MS can morph as it sees fit to do so. Unpredictably, silently, sometimes relentlessly this MS becomes an uninvited, unwanted "internal room-mate." Mary's overall background & her desire to discover herself & new creative outlets was a plus. A renewed student for life, Mary continues to explore the unknown - Once you switch off your "auto pilot" it's amazing what you can see & do. Place focus on learning, consume new information & participate in activities uncharted or foreign (The science of Neuroplasticity). All of this is most DEFINITELY a work in progress, but remember to focus most on the important things in life. Laugh out loud & live selflessly with compassion, purpose & unbridled passion. Connect with Mary at: 🔸Twitter: @pettigrew66, @MSpals 🔸Facebook: 🔸LinkedIn: 🔸Instagram: 🔸 Acknowledgments and Press ~ UPDATES TO COME * Creator & Co-founder of MSpals: A Global Organization (2014 - present) * Administrator & contributing author of content, posts, & interviews: MSpals blog: https:/ ~ The Summer of Sport: Forward Poetry 2012 ~ Poetry Rivals Collection 2013 ~ Something On Our Minds Vol.III ~ Something On Our Minds Vol IV. Interviews: National Multiple Sclerosis Society's "Momentum Magazine" ~ 2013 = Art Therapy & MS ~ 2015 = Connecting Via Social Media Other works also featured on a variety of blogs, websites, videos, as well as other multimedia platforms including: www.MS&MeRadio/TBI Network iConquerMS/The Accelerated Cure Project WEGO Health - Patient Leader HealtheVoices - Patient Leader MS Focus - Monthly contributor

2 thoughts on “Negative Positivity ~ an essay”

  1. Lately, I have realized my dependency on fear. I lean into fear to ward off failure, but bad things still happen. Now, my choice is to motivate w/love & happiness. Come what may, I feel good and deserving! This site is very thoughtful. Thank you.


  2. Totally agree that fear holds us back! A young child does not know fear and how much more curious and adventorous is that child! A child will climb trees until we warn them not to do so as an example! We implant our fears in our children. Does that child stop possibly not but it won't climb as high! Limited…..


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