“Black Holes”

My MS affects my brain – cognition issues have been challenging for me ever since my diagnosis nearly 13 years ago.  About 6 years ago, my neurologist informed me that my latest MRI scan showed one large lesion had now become a “black hole”…and, it is just like it sounds.  A black hole is permanent – a dark, lifeless area of the brain beyond repair.  Fear is early onset dementia.  Hopes are to keep other possible lesions away from this spot and to limit or exclude lesion activity altogether.  I keep my brain as busy as I have the energy to muster.  I write, play and listen to music.  I do newspaper crossword puzzles and read articles/blogs/books – I try most anything to expose my brain to new information…when energy allows.  “Black Hole” will be understood by many others with MS.   

 

 
 
Black Hole
Dead matter – neurons misfire
White turns black
Empty, void of repair
Overworked cellular
Overtime labor begun
Lesions come, they go
This one lingered, trespassed
De-faced, fade to black
Despite protests
Daunting, treacherous terrain
Threatening nearby white matter
Memory battles – cognitive ghosts
Deceptive, live versus dead
Defend and protect
As Commander in chief
I give the orders
Build a great wall against –
All around this dark enemy
Contain the prisoner
A life-sentence
Within the hole.

 

MPP2014

Author: Mary

ABOUT MARY ~ Mary is a "late-blooming" writer from Texas who enjoys exploring a variety of different styles & genres, however her deep passion for creative writing (poetry, essay, narrative interview & non-fiction) remains unwavering & most purposeful. Mary's personal & professional background is filled with an eclectic combination of business & art (e.g., music, performing arts, 15 years sales/marketing & special events planning in the private club industry). Mary is a 1990 graduate from The University of North Texas with a B.S. in Hotel/Restaurant Management. In 2001, life as she knew it would be dramatically & forever altered by the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) at age 35. Several years passed, searching for answers to unknown questions. This loss of reality, normalcy, & PURPOSE needed to be reinvented - renewed - rewritten. This disease is not a "one size firs all." MS affects everyone differently & can morph unpredictably, silently, relentlessly... day to day. It's not easy to figure out how to deal with disease & this vile invasion of an uninvited, unwanted "internal room-mate." Eventually, Mary also sought the help of a professional therapist which helped her learn important coping skills needed to tame/calm mood disorders & to encourage healthy ways in which to purge the noisy chaos inside the brain. And so the writing began... as did a newfound passion & purpose. This journey of reinvention became plausible via Mary's background & her desire to discover new creative outlets. As a student for life, Mary continues to explore & study the health benefits from turning off our "auto pilot switch" & instead focus on learning - consume new information & participate in new activities (Neuroplasticity). The gift of "resilience" is a glorious, powerful tool which stems from the endurance of life & it's many challenges. Resilience forces us to rise up & learn face issues (new & old) head on. Focus on the important things in life. Laugh & live selflessly with compassion, purose & passion. Connect with Mary at: 🔸Twitter: @pettigrew66, @MSpals 🔸Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MaryPettigrew48 🔸LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/maryppettigrew 🔸Instagram: 🔸http://www.mspals.org Acknowledgments and Press ~ * Creator & Co-founder of MSpals: A Global Organization (2014 - present) * Administrator & contributing author of content, posts, & interviews on the MSpals website: http://www.mspals.org ~ The Summer of Sport: Forward Poetry 2012 ~ Poetry Rivals Collection 2013 ~ Something On Our Minds Vol.III ~ Something On Our Minds Vol IV. Interviews: National Multiple Sclerosis Society's "Momentum Magazine" ~ 2013 = Art Therapy & MS ~ 2015 = Connecting Via Social Media Other works also featured on a variety of blogs, websites, videos, as well as other multimedia platforms including: www.pajamadaze.com www.disabled-world.com www.HealthCentral.com www.MyCounterpane.com www.MS&MeRadio/TBI Network iConquerMS/The Accelerated Cure Project WEGO Health

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