Month: October 2013

I finally met me – I woke up –

Electric and different this day, unlike the mundane

Rising at dawn from dreams and sleep routine expected.

Existing merely physically, detached

Every day for nearly half a century –

No…on this day, I woke up grasping

Who I am supposed to be and why.

Tangible…purpose and meaning defined, illuminated with color –

Why have I been absent this long? 

Analytic references unveil scattered playbills of the past –

Connecting dots, searching for missing/mismatched puzzle pieces

Swept under the rug, hidden away…on purpose,

Yet realizing, all was actually left out in plain view, overlooked,

My eyes wide shut – why are my eyes open now?

I finally met me – I fessed up –

Confrontation, truthful realization of self is daunting –

Detachment and donning “people pleaser” costumes is easier –

Takes its toll, paid the price

Every day for nearly half a century.

No more – this day I fessed up –

Admitted lies, ugly truths and un-pleasantries –

Calling a truce between me & myself –

Decisions, circumstances and outcomes –

Actions proved destructive to relationships, mind/body,

Scarring the soul. Why come clean now?

I finally know me – I rose up –

Invigorated, scared, yet courageously driven –

Void of self-pity, self-loathing,

Capable of facing my fears, battles, demons –

I celebrate this re-inventive revival once clouded

Every day for 47 years.

Never again – today I rose up –

To the wake-up call.