"The Sleeping Game": An Insomniac’s Poem

The Sleeping Game
Insomniac routine –
‘Tis unwanted playtime for
My brain.  Frenetic bed-time activity –
Been here, done this before – chronic
Noise filled solitude ensues.
Welcome to the sleeping game.
The players are me… and me.
Nightly, recruited by a forceful scout,
I unwillingly participate in
Irrational game play, pleading forfeit –
Such a request overruled, denied.
There is no regard for season, inclement weather,
No empathy for injury or illness –
No one gives up, no one quits.
The match between brain and body…
There is no winner.
The game ensues, becoming quizzical.
To-do lists, NOT-to-do lists, WHY-did-I-do-that lists –
Permeate my conscience in search of answers,
Full knowing, it’s all for naught. No matter…
3:00am has now come and gone.
Momentary common sense, rational thoughts
Attempts to mediate the scuffle, fleeting
Separate grandiose vs. fantastical reality.
TIME OUT…for now –
Acceptance of moiety will suffice…for now –
Until tomorrow, when the game resumes again…

As it always does.
MPP:2013

Author: Mary

ABOUT MARY ~ Mary is a patient advocate for MS, chronic illness & disabilities. She is a freelance writer from Texas who enjoys exploring a variety of different styles & genres, however her deep passion for creative writing (poetry, essay, narrative interview & non-fiction) remains unwavering & purposeful. Mary's personal & professional background is an eclectic compilation consisting of the fine arts, civil rights advocacy, fundraising with 15 years in sales/marketing & event planning in the private club industry. Mary is a 1990 graduate from The University of North Texas with a B.S. in Hotel/Restaurant Management. In 2001, Mary was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Within a few years, health issues forced her to resign from the career she loved. As her marriage began to crumble, Mary was keenly aware of the emotional & mental crisis firmly taking hold. Eventually, she sought the help of a professional therapist which helped her learn the important coping skills needed to tame/calm mood disorders & to encourage healthy ways in which to purge the noisy chaos inside the brain. This loss of reality, normalcy, & PURPOSE needed to be reinvented, renewed & rewritten...NOW! The divorce & all related proceedings lasted an unfathomable six years, yet it was the therapy, communities & her writing which kept her most grounded. Each poem a cathartic purge, each word a therapeutic tool meant for healing & to inspire resilience. Blindsided by this newfound purpose & passion, Mary continues writing & exploring a plethora of multimedia outlets to this day. Her writing, networking & advocacy projects target the MS, chronic illness & disability communities. Her interactive presence can be seen throughout social media. Although MS is the primary community in which she advocates, Mary enjoys playing an active role in other patient communities (bloggers, writers, music, live chats, special events, & many more. One of the key messages Mary continues to emphasize is how chronic illness can affect everyone differently. MS is a prime example in that we are not a "one size fits all." This disease called MS is a conundrum in every which way. To this day, research continues, yet we still don't know the root cause for MS, yet current findings now show "risk factors" for the disease. MS can morph as it sees fit to do so. Unpredictably, silently, sometimes relentlessly this MS becomes an uninvited, unwanted "internal room-mate." Mary's overall background & her desire to discover herself & new creative outlets was a plus. A renewed student for life, Mary continues to explore the unknown - Once you switch off your "auto pilot" it's amazing what you can see & do. Place focus on learning, consume new information & participate in activities uncharted or foreign (The science of Neuroplasticity). All of this is most DEFINITELY a work in progress, but remember to focus most on the important things in life. Laugh out loud & live selflessly with compassion, purpose & unbridled passion. Connect with Mary at: 🔸Twitter: @pettigrew66, @MSpals 🔸Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Mary.patriciapettigrew 🔸LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/maryppettigrew 🔸Instagram: 🔸https://www.mspals.wordpress.com Acknowledgments and Press ~ UPDATES TO COME * Creator & Co-founder of MSpals: A Global Organization (2014 - present) * Administrator & contributing author of content, posts, & interviews: MSpals blog: https:/:www.mspals.wordpress.com ~ The Summer of Sport: Forward Poetry 2012 ~ Poetry Rivals Collection 2013 ~ Something On Our Minds Vol.III ~ Something On Our Minds Vol IV. Interviews: National Multiple Sclerosis Society's "Momentum Magazine" ~ 2013 = Art Therapy & MS ~ 2015 = Connecting Via Social Media Other works also featured on a variety of blogs, websites, videos, as well as other multimedia platforms including: www.pajamadaze.com www.disabled-world.com www.HealthCentral.com www.MyCounterpane.com www.MS&MeRadio/TBI Network iConquerMS/The Accelerated Cure Project WEGO Health - Patient Leader HealtheVoices - Patient Leader MS Focus - Monthly contributor

4 thoughts on “"The Sleeping Game": An Insomniac’s Poem”

  1. Susan often plays the same game. Its, well… Often but not always. She wakes up when I do at 5:30am, but doesn’t fall asleep. It’s not until I get home. Then falls asleep sort of hard. I wake her to eat. She drifts back off, then when it is time for me to go to sleep she’s awake. Her sleep schedule is a mess and in turn it sort of effects mine. She flip on the television. I miss you and pray for you as well. Take care friend. Getting ready to have knee surgery on April 4. Need to do some prepping of home

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  2. Dawn,
    Thanks so much…insomnia is a bugger & we all have it from time to time. I keep a notepad next to my bed because, once in awhile, I get some great writing ideas to tackle later! Your comments mean a lot to me!

    Like

  3. Mary,
    I loved this poem aptly describing insomnia; love the inside head game you describe and the lists…Ha! I'd be tempted to say, journaling before bed helps. 😉

    I love your blog, the books, the color, etc.

    Good day to you. 🙂
    Be refreshed
    Dawn Herring

    Like

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