I began writing “Perception” a few years ago, revised it once, yet never truly finished it. Well, for a variety of reasons, I needed this poem to be done & gone! So, I did a little more editing and have HOPEFULLY “purged” it here as cathartic relief. The effects when going through anxiety & panic attacks are exhausting & can have a disastrous impact on the mind and body. For some people, these episodes are often debilitating and difficult to control. Anyone who has dealt with anxiety/panic knows exactly what I’m talking about.
Wildly nervous, unhinged with
Anxiety inescapable & surely obvious
Others who stare in curious observation
Of this crazy woman’s mania, but no…
At this moment, I think they all see,
but they don’t, can’t see what I feel…
Self-conscious perception of
Reality exaggerated…
My mouth dry, as if gauze filled
Affected by self induced effects –
Words muffled, struggling, yet stuck
Fidget, picking my cuticles in a
Strangely hypnotic, self-soothing
Trance…I survey surroundings
In search for retreat, an
Escape, release…
Heart races – constricted in my chest
Breath shallow…such hard work to
Focus, to remember how to swallow –
Complete chaos, a freak show
Ridiculously on display, my internal
Combustion, a solitary meltdown
Invisible, exhausting…
Reflection & Renewal 