Author: Mary

ABOUT MARY ~ Mary is a patient advocate for MS, chronic illness & disabilities. She is a freelance writer from Texas who enjoys exploring a variety of different styles & genres, however her deep passion for creative writing (poetry, essay, narrative interview & non-fiction) remains unwavering & purposeful. Mary's personal & professional background is an eclectic compilation consisting of the fine arts, civil rights advocacy, fundraising with 15 years in sales/marketing & event planning in the private club industry. Mary is a 1990 graduate from The University of North Texas with a B.S. in Hotel/Restaurant Management. In 2001, Mary was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Within a few years, health issues forced her to resign from the career she loved. As her marriage began to crumble, Mary was keenly aware of the emotional & mental crisis firmly taking hold. Eventually, she sought the help of a professional therapist which helped her learn the important coping skills needed to tame/calm mood disorders & to encourage healthy ways in which to purge the noisy chaos inside the brain. This loss of reality, normalcy, & PURPOSE needed to be reinvented, renewed & rewritten...NOW! The divorce & all related proceedings lasted an unfathomable six years, yet it was the therapy, communities & her writing which kept her most grounded. Each poem a cathartic purge, each word a therapeutic tool meant for healing & to inspire resilience. Blindsided by this newfound purpose & passion, Mary continues writing & exploring a plethora of multimedia outlets to this day. Her writing, networking & advocacy projects target the MS, chronic illness & disability communities. Her interactive presence can be seen throughout social media. Although MS is the primary community in which she advocates, Mary enjoys playing an active role in other patient communities (bloggers, writers, music, live chats, special events, & many more. One of the key messages Mary continues to emphasize is how chronic illness can affect everyone differently. MS is a prime example in that we are not a "one size fits all." This disease called MS is a conundrum in every which way. To this day, research continues, yet we still don't know the root cause for MS, yet current findings now show "risk factors" for the disease. MS can morph as it sees fit to do so. Unpredictably, silently, sometimes relentlessly this MS becomes an uninvited, unwanted "internal room-mate." Mary's overall background & her desire to discover herself & new creative outlets was a plus. A renewed student for life, Mary continues to explore the unknown - Once you switch off your "auto pilot" it's amazing what you can see & do. Place focus on learning, consume new information & participate in activities uncharted or foreign (The science of Neuroplasticity). All of this is most DEFINITELY a work in progress, but remember to focus most on the important things in life. Laugh out loud & live selflessly with compassion, purpose & unbridled passion. Connect with Mary at: 🔸Twitter: @pettigrew66, @MSpals 🔸Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Mary.patriciapettigrew 🔸LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/maryppettigrew 🔸Instagram: 🔸https://www.mspals.wordpress.com Acknowledgments and Press ~ UPDATES TO COME * Creator & Co-founder of MSpals: A Global Organization (2014 - present) * Administrator & contributing author of content, posts, & interviews: MSpals blog: https:/:www.mspals.wordpress.com ~ The Summer of Sport: Forward Poetry 2012 ~ Poetry Rivals Collection 2013 ~ Something On Our Minds Vol.III ~ Something On Our Minds Vol IV. Interviews: National Multiple Sclerosis Society's "Momentum Magazine" ~ 2013 = Art Therapy & MS ~ 2015 = Connecting Via Social Media Other works also featured on a variety of blogs, websites, videos, as well as other multimedia platforms including: www.pajamadaze.com www.disabled-world.com www.HealthCentral.com www.MyCounterpane.com www.MS&MeRadio/TBI Network iConquerMS/The Accelerated Cure Project WEGO Health - Patient Leader HealtheVoices - Patient Leader MS Focus - Monthly contributor

This Too Shall Pass: A Query

QUERY

This too shall pass –

I’m beginning to question this common phrase. Slowly…out loud yet, quietly,

repeating each word I attempt to discover and dissect –

I ask myself, what does this phrase really mean? What does it mean to you?

Strangely imbedded in my mind, I realize my hopeful mantra has now become

a daily affirmation for strength and acceptance of self.

A query of which I deliberately ask myself, seeking clarity and answers

in my world – attempting to understanding the truthful simplicity of a question residing in the meaning. But, what does this phrase mean? More importantly,

what does it mean – to me?

This too shall pass –

I wonder…am I merely giving myself verbal permission to brush little unpleasantries under the carpet, assuming they will certainly work themselves out? Maybe…

Am I self-soothing with this vocal pacifier for a mistake made, a bad decision? Sometimes. More often than not, I seem to require coddling from a self inflicted punishment caused purely from poor judgment on my part. Shaming myself is more fitting…I think…it’s my history and what I’m used to. Or, is it much simpler than all that? Am I kindly reminding, merely re-assuring myself of true realization? This absolute, finite existence that is Karma?

This too shall pass –

As I repeat these words to myself, the saying begins to lose its impact and actually sounds a bit lazy and somewhat flippant. Hmmmm.

I chuckle, because as usual, it’s quite easy for me to OVER analyze and

deconstruct something that’s merely supposed to be simple, easy, and appropriate no matter what the need or desire may be.

The words are always the same and always said in the same order. However,

the meaning of each word can take on as many forms or tones as I require – or desire in my search to move on and create order in my life! Yes, the words are always the same… THIS TOO SHALL PASS. No one ever scrambles them up in attempt to change the intent or the power of the phrase – or to make it sound trendy, more unique. And so, I’ve decided that the answer to my query is obvious and it is clear…I own it…it’s mine…it works for me any time I need it.

I’m still learning to pay attention to my body’s language and have discovered that I breathe a little deeper when my mantra is uttered. My shoulders drop down and are relaxed. That irritating little furrow, residing between my eyebrows is diminished. My voice softens, no longer frenetic, and it slows to an easy tempo…and I smile because I feel peaceful…and it’s a strange feeling that is so delicious! So, allowing myself to use this oh, so common, repetitive phrase for my own private benefit is freeing…when I need to be freed the most.

MS and Poetry: "Scars" & "Chairs"

Happy weekend to all ~
Forgive me…it’s been awhile since I posted anything here & I intend to play a lot of blogging “catch up” this weekend. For now, I thought I’d share 2 of my poems relating to MS.

SCARS

This brain, my brain

Reveals an unwanted, uninvited stain

Stealthy invaders placed an ugly mark

Though visually unseen, it’s there…a permanent scar.

A tattoo, if you will

An indelible marking, perplexing until

Courageous, yet daunting intervention begins

Presenting theoretical ideas, invasive needles and pins.

The monster’s mastery takes hold, you see…

Internally stalking, exploring ways to manipulate me

Wicked, determined to strike and knock me down

A bully in hiding, deploying trickery like a devious clown.

This brain, my brain

With this extraordinary, devastating stain

Brings clarity, unexpected strength, possibility

Now, determined, striving to re-define my disability.

CHAIRS

Here I sit

in a chair made of wood –

wooden legs, I can sit upon

and rise up from whenever I want to.

Surrounded by others

who also sit

in chairs like mine, made of wood –

with wooden legs.

The others sit in chairs with steel wheels

instead of wooden legs.

With motorized knobs directing where they go.

The one’s who sit in wheels

have legs, and feet of their own – like mine.

Their legs used to be like mine –

functional…sometime ago.

Now, their legs are problematic – useless.

Legs which feel like wood,

wet noodles, fire, painful needles, atrophied and stiff…

yet, here they sit – with me

in chairs of different means, but of similar purpose.

Together, we gather in our chairs and we sit,

talk, smile, nod and understand

for the same reason, sharing this disease

together, members of this exclusive club

no one has applied for.

THE TEST

Tests…
Most of us have been out of school for many, many years, but don’t think that the days of studying, learning and taking tests are over. They will never be over.

THE TEST

The test is a mirror…

Every test is a curious mirror

Reflecting confidence and truth

Or, lack thereof.

The test is a mirror…

Displaying naked realism of who we are

Exposing vulnerabilities of who we are not

Or, who we wish to be.

The test is a mirror…

Prohibiting facade and masquerade

Enforcing society’s blueprint of conformity

Or, simply guiding our true self.

The test is a mirror…

Unwavering, without grace of grading on a curve

Prodding, quizzes encourage fearful insight

Or, maybe it is only a ruse.

The test is a mirror…

We are our own professors

Posting grades of pass or fail to ourselves

Yet, we take and re-take the same exam…

What have we learned?

POETRY: FITTING FOR A HOT TEXAS EVE

Texas is hot. Everyone knows it gets hot in Texas every summer. But, this year seems worse than I can remember…IT’S HOT!!! I’m not joking when I say you CAN fry an egg on the pavement on days like this! I’ll embellish on Texas heat another time. With that being said, I decided my 2nd blog post would be one of my poems about staying indoors: A WRITER’S RATIONALE. There will be 2 additional poems immediately following the poem: OVERWHELMED and SHELLS. Thank you for reading. I’d love your comments if you have time. They will be added to my poetry list as well.
~ Enjoy and stay cool.

A WRITER’S RATIONALE

Didn’t go out today – didn’t leave my room, writing –

Home is where I feel most at ease.

Truth being, haven’t really gone outside –

For quite some time now, peaceful self-soothing –

Is what I prefer.

Constant in my head, analyzing, composing, editing –

Dreams, passionate anticipation of new assignments.

Content – thriving, despite lack of social interaction –

Humans are social creatures, yet habits challenge theory –

I am a challenge.

A writer socializes intimately with his designed characters

Companions gathering together, singing, drinking – fulfillment.

In truth, I sit with pen and paper, dismissing those who call –

Embrace solitude, content with little musings.

Hope I’m understood.

Writers, particularly poets are reputably hermits –

Seeking privacy, solitude, therefore…seclusion.

My excuse anyway, it’s a good one – so,

Excuse the mind-set, accept my world, my words.

This is my desire.

OVERWHELMED

The mess on my bed

Is the mess in my head…

Chronic disarray

Dreadful habits unshed

Accumulating things unsaid, unread…

Swirling melee

Purge, to cleanse my purpose said

Out loud and in my head…

Again, I’ll disobey

SHELLS

We are the smallest

Shells not found until

Hardened over grit

Sculpted in truth

As grains of sand

Engrave the soul

Secret pearl masks

Hidden tales, love

Pieces left behind

Magnificent journey

Unique metamorphosis

Memories culled

Re-arranged, displaced

Longing for the shore

Well, it’s about time! My first post…YAHOO!

I’m FINALLY blogging! I’m still tweaking quite a few things here, but it’s coming together and it feels good. I had played around with a few different sites over the years, but nothing felt right. I tried to think of “interesting” themes, designs, and things to write about…what I DID know was that I didn’t want to publish a blog full of rambling, meaningless jibber-jabber! Then, I found myself getting too wrapped up and confused with the design aspect of the site. Frustrated, I stopped trying for awhile. But I kept reading and writing.

This past year, the more I read/researched various things about writers and others in the creative world, I began to notice a fascinating shift in the ways people publish work today. The global growth of using the internet and social media have creatively made promoting and publishing work very quick and easy. Within minutes, you write, you post , then seconds later, BOOM – your work is out there for the whole world to see…very exciting, yet also a bit daunting! Even though I’d been writing poetry for awhile, the thought never occurred to me to use a blog for sharing my work. So, thanks to the advice, input, and encouragement from many of my writer pals, I’m now posting my first blog today. Cheers!

I’m learning as I go…my site still needs a little fine-tuning, so bear with me while I co-ordinate my “tabs” & various pages. As a blog newbie, I absolutely welcome your comments for ways I can make my site more interesting or organized. I’m looking forward to communing with others who share my passion! Much more to come soon ~ Enjoy!